Vern's Volvo

Vern’s Volvo is the car that he has been driving for over 20 years, not the heap of parts in the back of Grace’s Garage. Just because all of the parts of Vern’s Volvo have been replaced, doesn’t mean that that the car is no longer his.  His Volvo is the car that he owns and drives everyday--regardless of whether the parts are new or old. The parts in the heap are simply parts…only when they are put together do they become a car. This supports the theory that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  Without those parts being in the form of a car, the parts mean nothing to Vern. If you showed him all of the parts in a heap, he would not be able to identify that they were the parts that made up his old car unless someone was to tell him. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he would have absolutely no emotional attachment to them in the form of a heap. If Grace were to use those parts to recreate the Volvo exactly, Vern would probably have an emotional connection to it; however it still would not be his car. It would only be Vern’s car if he bought back from Grace; therefore giving him ownership rights… but then Vern would have two Volvos: one with old parts and one with new- my guess is that he would want to have the new Volvo.

I don’t think Vern would actually think that because he was replacing the parts of his Volvo, it would no longer be his Volvo. Take your home for example; things break in your house all the time (a window, a door, a refrigerator…etc.) and we are constantly taking out and replacing things in our house. It doesn’t mean that our house is no longer our house. If we were to restore our house to exactly the way it was when we first had it (like Grace putting back the Volvo together) it would just be our house in a former state…not what is known as our current house. I know it is not exactly the same, but it proves my point that it matters what is currently ours not what once was. As I have said, Vern’s Volvo is the Volvo he currently drives everyday…not a heap of parts that once made up his Volvo.

Know Thyself

To know one self is to be aware of one’s personal preferences, behaviors, and passions. Every decision we make in our lives is based off of these characteristics, which ultimately define who we are and what we accomplish. We choose what we want to do in life based off our likes and dislikes, as well as our strengths and weaknesses, thus making it extremely important that we as human beings truly know ourselves in order to make wise and successful decisions.

            I feel I know myself pretty well.  All my life I have always been very opinionated and strong willed. I am the perfect example of a “stubborn Aries.” I know what I like and I know what I don’t like. For example, I know that I don’t like staying in one place for too long. I constantly need to be doing something.  My restlessness is one of my biggest weaknesses.  I get bored far too easily. This causes me to have trouble focusing on the present and dealing with the task at hand. I’m always thinking ahead. Sometimes I find myself becoming so preoccupied with the future, that I miss out on the beauty and uncertainty of the present. A big part of this problem is my impatience.  For example, as I experience these last few months of high school, I find myself wishing to fast forward. I can’t wait to begin a new chapter of my life, meet new people, study abroad…yet I can’t help but remind myself to savor these last few months of just being in high school. The last thing I want to do is wish my life away. So whenever I feel myself wanting to jump ahead, I remind myself to be grateful for the present and the exciting experiences that await me.

            My strength would have to be my optimism. I try to keep an open mind about every new experience. I find something positive in everyone I meet and in everything I do. When something doesn’t go my way, I’m proud to say I usually accept it and move on fairly quickly. In my acting class at ECA, there is a rule which everyone must abide by: “accept and build.” This means you must never limit yourself or doubt your capabilities. From this I have learned to stretch myself as an actress and a person. I think I do a pretty good job at accepting challenges and approaching new experiences with curiosity and confidence.  I take great pride in my ability to take risks and I know I am able to do so because of my optimistic and hopeful outlook on life.

I find writing about my strengths and weaknesses to be a very interesting experience. I think it is easier for most people (including myself) to write about their weaknesses. I think this is mainly because of our tendency as humans to doubt ourselves. I think our flaws and shortcomings seem much more important in the grand scheme of life. They overshadow our successes and point out what we are doing wrong, therefore they are easier to identify. I find it difficult to write about my strengths.  I don’t want to brag about what I am good at, but I know it is important to self reflect and recognize the good qualities I possess too. Overtime I hope to discover different strengths within myself and build upon my own foundation of ever growing self knowledge.

Eden is that old-fashioned House by: Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson’s poem "Eden is that old-fashioned House" presents a message similar to that of the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Emily Dickinson rarely left her home which says a lot about how much it meant to her. One could argue that it was her own utopia or “Garden of Eden.” After all, your home does contain all your personal belongings, not to mention your loved ones. A home also provides a sense of comfort and safety far superior to any other place. You are so comfortable in your home that you are rarely conscious of the impact it has on you. In other words, it feels so natural to be at home that you aren’t even aware of how you feel or act when you are there. In the first stanza of the poem, Dickinson says “Eden is that old-fashioned House”. In saying this I believe Dickinson to be proclaiming her “old-fashioned” House to be her own Garden of Eden. You could also think of the Garden of Eden as the first “House” of mankind. In the line, “Without suspecting our abode until we drive away” I believe Dickinson is trying to convey the message that we are not grateful of the true beauty of our home until we drive away from it or become lacking of one. This idea is also conveyed through Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve did not respect the rules of the garden or appreciate what was being provided for them. It was only after they were expelled from the garden did they truly understand what they were once blessed with. In the second stanza, Dickinson’s use of the word sauntered is particularly interesting. I think this word represents the attitude of most human beings. Most humans are able to walk away from their homes with a sense of ease and effortlessness. They assume that when they return to their homes everything will be just as they left it—which is certainly not always the case.  Many things can change about your home while you are away. This I have learned from personal experience. For example, when I return to my hometown where I grew up, I no longer feel that it is my home. Sure I still have childhood memories and emotional attachments to the people and places there; however I have lost the feeling that it is my home. Before moving I thought that that house in particular would always be where I consider home. However since moving I have learned that a home is not a fixed location.  Instead home is ever moving. I now have a new home in a new place and later in life I will find myself in many other places.  The location does not make it a home but rather the people around you.  As I prepare myself for going away to college, I continuously remind myself of this. Being away from a place as familiar and comfortable as home will be difficult however I know that I will make myself a new home-away-from-home at college, because that is what we do has human beings. We naturally adapt to our surroundings and find new places to call our home. Like Adam and Eve, I feel like I won’t fully appreciate the warmth and reassurance a home provides until I am removed from mine. I am most worried that when I do return to my home, it will not feel like home. My older sister once told me she found it unusual that when talking about going back to college she catches herself saying, “I’m going back home.” It makes me wonder, “Is college really her new home?”  In a way perhaps it is. However, I believe a home is forever changing. With new experiences and new people also come new homes, and we begin to forget about our previous ones. We “saunter” away from them, unaware of when we will return or how they will appear if we do.

No Day But Today

The best advice I have received in life, did not come from a parent, a teacher, or an older sibling; it came from a song. There is a line in the song, “No Day But Today” from the musical Rent that always sticks with me when I hear it: “Forget Regret, or life is yours to miss” I had sang the song a million times but I never really thought about what it truly meant until I sang it in a benefit concert over the summer. The concert was put on for a boy, Brian from my high school who suffered from adrenoleukodystrophy, a rare disease that causes brain damage. My close friends started a group called the “Lemonade Gang” which put on shows and concerts to help raise money for research. As I stood on stage singing this song with all my friends around me, I looked out into a crowd of inspired people and most importantly Brian. You could tell he was enjoying the music. I finally realized how important the words my friends and I were singing.  I thought, “Here I am always complaining about my life, striving for perfection, living in the past, complaining about the present, when I should be just living my life. Shouldn’t I just live in the moment and appreciate the life I’ve been given when there are so many people who have it worse off than me?” I am constantly over thinking the things I do and the decisions I make. I regret saying things and not saying things to the people I love.  I think about the past and the things I should have done differently. I dwell on it so much that I miss the beautiful life that’s right in front of me. I decided right then and there I  won't worry my life away. I have been blessed with so much in my life that I owe it to Brian and others who aren’t as fortunate to not let life pass me by. You never know when things can change, so you must live in the moment. Brian was once a normal boy and then everything changed. We never know what the future holds so we must appreciate each day for what it is. Whenever I hear that song I am reminded that there truly is “No Day But Today.”

“There is no Permanence.” – Utnapishtum

These four words were said by Utnapishtum to Gilgamesh on his tireless quest for everlasting life.  Although this is a simple statement, these four words present a harsh fact of life; everything, good or bad, must come to an end.  We live in a world that is constantly changing. People are brought into this world and taken out of it every minute of every day. This often leads people to question the purpose of their lives and the concept of life in general. How can we go about our lives, knowing that one day there won’t be even one person that remembers us? Why should we build relationships with people knowing they can disappear in a matter of seconds? If life is so disposable, what is the point? Shouldn’t we spare ourselves the heartbreak? All these questions drive humanity insane. People want answers to all the questions life throws at us. What becomes of all of our thoughts, memories and ideas after we die? I once read an african proverb that said "Everytime an old person dies a library burns to the ground". All of their intelligence and education is suddenly gone and worthless. Their story has come to an end. We want to have been important enough to have our story told even after we die. We want to know that we are leaving the world having made some kind of positive impact on the world. This is the driving force behind everything we do and the choices we make. Another thing we want to know is what is in store for us after we die. This is why people turn to religion and faith during times of need. They want to know there is life after death and that they will be reunited with their loved ones. Unfortunately, there is no way of knowing if this is true. This scares people. It is this fear of the unknown that drives Gilgamesh to find a way to escape death. This is made clear on page 97 when Gilgamesh says, “What my brother is now, that shall I be when I am dead. Because I am afraid of death I will go as best I can to find Untapishtim whom they call Faraway, for he has entered the assembly of the gods.” Gilgamesh’s fears about death summon a deep desire for immortality. What he fails to realize is that immortality is not the key to happiness. In fact it actually causes more heartbreak than anything else. Someone who is immortal has to watch every person they ever loved die. Also, it would be impossible for them to take risks in life because there would never be any consequences.  Immortality takes all the excitement out of living. Life is precious because you have a limited time on earth. Knowing that we don’t have forever is what makes us live life to the fullest and appreciate each moment we have with the ones we love. As humans we should learn take advantage of all life has to offer instead of living in fear about something as inevitable as death. I think this is something everyone who wishes to live a happy and fulfilling life should live by. So the next time I'm pondering the purpose of my life and like Gilgamesh, fearing what is to come, I will think of my favorite quote from the novel “Tuck Everlasting” by Natalie Babbitt, “Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.”

Thoughts on Heroes

One of the greatest American writers, Ernest Hemingway once said, “As you get older it is harder to have heroes but it is sort of necessary.”  I would have to agree with Mr. Hemingway.  As a child, heroes are fictional characters such as the prince who awakens Sleeping Beauty or superheroes such as batman or superman; guys who possess some sort of super power that makes them cooler than the average human. But as you grow up, you learn about the real heroes; people who had the courage to fight against all odds for something they truly believed in. People like Martin Luther King, Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman and countless others who spoke up about what they felt passionate about. These are the true heroes, because these are the people who have shaped the way our world is today. However as you get older, there seems to be less and less heroes in the world. You see that people are more likely to sit back and watch something happen than to take a stand and do something. Too many people rely on others to fix the issues occurring in today’s society and as a result of this the world seems to be lacking in the hero department. If more people had the courage to change things themselves, we could see all different kinds of heroic acts taking place every day. You don’t need to have superpowers to be a hero; in fact you just need to be human; to have compassion for others and the desire to help them. Heroes can be anyone. They can be a man or woman, black or white, short or tall, it doesn’t matter as long as they impact someone’s life in a positive way. In all actuality, everyone has the ability to become somebody’s hero. As you get older, you realize nobody is indestructible like superman. You start seeing that even the people you look up to as your heroes have faults and make mistakes just like you. However even though it may be harder to have heroes when you’re older, it doesn’t mean they aren’t necessary in society.  Heroes are in fact an essential part of life. Take firemen, police officers, and military service men who everyday put their lives at risk to help others. Their bravery is needed to inspire and give hope to the average man. Their protection is necessary for society to feel safe.  Their mere presence is needed to comfort the people. All people really want is to know is that there are people in this world that will be there for them when in need. So whether you are a teacher, superman, or a loving parent, you are all considered heroes in someone’s eyes.  Overall, there is always room for more heroes in today’s society because whether we like it or not, the world needs saving.